Sociopath or psychopath – does it matter?

I came across a page that talks about the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath:

All I understand is that one will  (try to) destroy you without compunction and the other regardless of it.

I put “try to” over there because it is in MY power whether to be destroyed or not. Regardless of what has happened so far, everyday that I distance myself from my past, every time I show a glimmer of a more confident me, every single minute that I have managed to forget, every time I feel hope not fear, every phone call I handle without reacting, every time I roll with the punches, I am protecting my well-being.

I know that this isn’t over till it is really over. The other day, the monster called because I commented on the Nirbhaya case on facebook. I do not ever ask him what he is up to. He bad mouths me. Infects me. Is free to comment on anything and everywhere, but I am not? How abusive does that get? Worse, he is preventing me from getting freelance work from mutual contacts.

After using all these intimidation tactics, he has the gall to tell me that he, who was planning to beg for my forgiveness, but will not do so now.

It was a punch in the gut to realize that so-called “progressive” and “modern” men would still rally around their “buddy” and join him in harassing me and not give me work because he is their “friend”. Unfortunately, such men go out in the world and portray themselves as feminists and what not. And the most amazing thing is these balanced individuals have not even bothered to call me directly or even speak to me even once. They have assumed, passed judgement and acted all on the basis of what he is telling them. Way to have a “balanced” input!

They perceive themselves as upstanding citizens and go about their day to day lives without a care about who they are trying to destroy. Even those who hold back because oh it is “between a couple” are guilty of perpetuating the same crime by their silence.

Their behavior and lack of moral values and violent natures is a problem for society at large yes. But, I can only fight my own battle to survive. If more and more people realize that they should take a stand on behalf of what is right and just, then the world as we know it would become wonderful. But, people do not always behave the way we would want them to. These sociopaths, or whatever, can be very charming and the very people who claim to be objective and well-reasoned etc. get carried away. They are also a part of the same victim-blaming culture. These are the people who understand things like gender policing, have daughters, think that they hold “family” values. They also minimize and trivialize all acts that violate a women unless it is something as horrific as a brutal rape. They call his actions unjustified in one breath and the very next they minimize it by saying “even though he did these bad things…he is not a bad guy” Where do they come off? Is the fact that he is rich and gives them a chance to earn money for their livelihood enough for them to sell their soul?

Or are they themselves probably are on the same psychopathic or sociopathic spectrum?

Get off your high pedestals. Correct your world-view and update your self-image. I feel deeply for your wives and kids.

How do you sleep at night? How does your conscience (if you have one) not make you squirm?

That is why, it makes no difference in my life whether people are psychopaths, sociopaths, or those who support such people because they lack compunction or have their own agendas to fulfil. Sure, their attitude needs examining, but not by me. I am DONE with such kind of people. My hopes and dreams have nothing to do with them. Yes, I thought they were something else. Yes, I am disappointed to discover their regressive behavior under all that glossy image.

But, that should not come in the way of me trying to build a safe and happy future for my daughter.

Child custody and visitation rights to an abusive a******

Should an abusive, alcoholic, drug addict and prostitute goer ever be allowed near any child ever? He is negligent with the child and totally spaced out half the time and drunk the other when he is in her company. Can such a person be a responsible person let alone a father? Is a child going to be safe around him?

Would you leave your daughter with such a monster?

I hope to see the day when child custody and visitation laws for people who commit domestic violence are evolved enough to see that interaction with such a person is detrimental to the child. And how about the mother who is forced to relive everything and live in constant fear of the safety of her child with such an abusive person?

People like that who destroy their own life and destroy their family should be told by the court to take themselves off. And never ever come anywhere near the family they treated so cruelly.

Yesterday my baby cried

Oh God. No one should have to go through this pain. No one should have a baby if they are about to ruin everything. That monster doesn’t deserve to be called human.

My baby cried because she missed her toys and books and yes even her Christmas tree. I wish he would at least give us her things. Who knows what he might do. As of now whenever I tell him to get it ,he says ‘send me a email’…wonder what that means. I just said, “please send all of her toys, books and clothes that you can spare” on the phone. What more is to be said in an email?

What kind of person asks for an email list of things that belongs to a six year old? Books are in the book shelf. Toys are in the play room. Just give it up. What are you going to do with it?

Understanding the monster?

He sends me a mail saying ‘please understand me’ and wants to explain his behavior and that too by sending a song. What’s next — a mail forward?

A song with the word ‘stoner’ in it. He probably sent the mail when he was high or drunk or both.

I know that there are still so many lies and so many things he has not yet admitted. But, that shouldn’t affect me. If he felt he couldn’t talk to me then why is he trying to explain anything at all now. This is not healthy. I am going to shut out all these negative messages. There is no need for me to ‘understand’ why he is abusive. At this point, it is important to break away from him. and his substance abuse is not going to be my concern any more once I free my child from him.

I know we took vows and decided to be married but nobody should have to suffer such a life and no child should ever have to face abuse and neglect from a father.

In my ideal world such things wouldn’t happen. But, as everyone is so fond of reminding me, life isn’t perfect. I can only choose to stay away from him, his abuse, his drugs, his stoner songs, he is the loser here not me. He is the one who threw away my love and my daughter’s love on whores.