Sociopath or psychopath – does it matter?

I came across a page that talks about the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath:

http://www.medicaldaily.com/whats-difference-between-sociopath-and-psychopath-not-much-one-might-kill-you-270694

All I understand is that one will  (try to) destroy you without compunction and the other regardless of it.

I put “try to” over there because it is in MY power whether to be destroyed or not. Regardless of what has happened so far, everyday that I distance myself from my past, every time I show a glimmer of a more confident me, every single minute that I have managed to forget, every time I feel hope not fear, every phone call I handle without reacting, every time I roll with the punches, I am protecting my well-being.

I know that this isn’t over till it is really over. The other day, the monster called because I commented on the Nirbhaya case on facebook. I do not ever ask him what he is up to. He bad mouths me. Infects me. Is free to comment on anything and everywhere, but I am not? How abusive does that get? Worse, he is preventing me from getting freelance work from mutual contacts.

After using all these intimidation tactics, he has the gall to tell me that he, who was planning to beg for my forgiveness, but will not do so now.

It was a punch in the gut to realize that so-called “progressive” and “modern” men would still rally around their “buddy” and join him in harassing me and not give me work because he is their “friend”. Unfortunately, such men go out in the world and portray themselves as feminists and what not. And the most amazing thing is these balanced individuals have not even bothered to call me directly or even speak to me even once. They have assumed, passed judgement and acted all on the basis of what he is telling them. Way to have a “balanced” input!

They perceive themselves as upstanding citizens and go about their day to day lives without a care about who they are trying to destroy. Even those who hold back because oh it is “between a couple” are guilty of perpetuating the same crime by their silence.

Their behavior and lack of moral values and violent natures is a problem for society at large yes. But, I can only fight my own battle to survive. If more and more people realize that they should take a stand on behalf of what is right and just, then the world as we know it would become wonderful. But, people do not always behave the way we would want them to. These sociopaths, or whatever, can be very charming and the very people who claim to be objective and well-reasoned etc. get carried away. They are also a part of the same victim-blaming culture. These are the people who understand things like gender policing, have daughters, think that they hold “family” values. They also minimize and trivialize all acts that violate a women unless it is something as horrific as a brutal rape. They call his actions unjustified in one breath and the very next they minimize it by saying “even though he did these bad things…he is not a bad guy” Where do they come off? Is the fact that he is rich and gives them a chance to earn money for their livelihood enough for them to sell their soul?

Or are they themselves probably are on the same psychopathic or sociopathic spectrum?

Get off your high pedestals. Correct your world-view and update your self-image. I feel deeply for your wives and kids.

How do you sleep at night? How does your conscience (if you have one) not make you squirm?

That is why, it makes no difference in my life whether people are psychopaths, sociopaths, or those who support such people because they lack compunction or have their own agendas to fulfil. Sure, their attitude needs examining, but not by me. I am DONE with such kind of people. My hopes and dreams have nothing to do with them. Yes, I thought they were something else. Yes, I am disappointed to discover their regressive behavior under all that glossy image.

But, that should not come in the way of me trying to build a safe and happy future for my daughter.

When I will not be there…

Through every trial
After every triumph
I will be there

When you slump
Or hit a bump
I will be there…….

Oh no no no….Stop. I can’t!

I wish I could tell you words like that
Things that a little girl should hear
But the world we live in is in fact
A place that is filled with what I fear

No matter who you contact
In any stage of life or sphere
If any of them ever detract
Your worth, steer clear

On this special day let’s make a pact
That I will teach you to persevere
So you can choose the way you react
To those who cheat or are insincere

I can’t guarantee how everybody will act
Or make evil disappear
What I can do is in fact
Help you grow strong my dear!

Yesterday I met an old friend

I met a friend who did not know anything about this sordid mess. It was wonderful. Not that I don’t trust her, but I didn’t want to share because what is the point really? We had a few good laughs, shared some gossip about famous people. And she dropped me home.

It reminded me of the kindness of all the people who were there for me at my darkest hour.

1. A friend who offered to house me indefinitely till I figured it all out.

2. A friend who looked after my daughter when I had stuff to do.

3. A friend whose husband and brother cooked and looked after her kids and my daughter when she was out supporting me.

4. A friend who spoke to me on the phone constantly and prayed with me to give me strength.

5. A friend who took care of my daughter and supported me against the wishes of her own husband.

6. A friend who told me to go to a women’s organization for help and connected me to an awesome woman who gave me hope.

7. A friend who met me even though his own little one was terribly ill at the time, just to support me.

8. A friend who gave me so much practical and philosophical advice that helped me pull myself together.

9. A friend who cared enough to be there for me even though she was on a holiday with family.

This is in random order and I thank all my friends. And above all my brother who came to be with me to support me and to help me hope again.

I can never forget their kindness and their support in helping me find happiness. Because at the end of the day all I want is to be happy with my daughter. If she and I can share a few laughs, read a good book and go to bed hugging each other tight. That is a great day!

Here’s to many more great days! Love to all my friends and my incredibly supportive family.