Yesterday, for most part of the day, I felt strong and that I would be able to cope with anything that comes my way. Then, suddenly out of the blue a wave of nostalgia hit, I cried thinking of what could have been. I have a lovely baby girl. I should have had a lovely family. The ugliness of it all, tore at my heart.
The worst part is that I can’t tell anybody about what I am going through because later it will get back to my baby. When she grows up, I hope she will never have to learn about what he did ever.
But, if he insists on taking her away, all this muck will be raked in public. She will learn that her father abused her mother emotionally, sexually…She will learn about his substance abuse. She will know everything, every filthy detail because it will come up in court. And worst of all she will grow up to realize his negligence and abuse towards her. There may be no other way to keep her safe.
How do I protect my baby from all that? Please God give me the strength.