A study on abuse

Studies show that emotional abuse almost always escalates to physical. My monster had once asked me to recollect how he used to grab my throat and he had stopped doing that for so many years. He said that he screamed at me because he kept a tight leash on his temper to prevent him from grabbing me by the throat again. So he did everything short of the one thing he knew would make me go to the cops. All the abuse he heaped on me would not leave physical stars.

But, when this abuse flowed over to my little one, I could not take it anymore. The different forms of abuse that many of us face are mentioned here:

https://mainweb-v.musc.edu/vawprevention/research/defining.shtml

I hope that after reading this, women find the courage to move out of an abusive relationship sooner than I did.

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The monster has a friend

Apparently, people think that monsters should have access to children.

Yes. I kid you not. There is a guy who professes to be a mutual friend but really is the monster’s friend and thinks that despite not knowing the hell that we have gone through, my daughter would be safe with the monster.

I wish people like that rot in a special kind of hell alongside the monster. This friend has a little girl of his own. Why doesn’t he give his little girl to the monster to hit and hurt. Shit I would never ever say anything bad about a child, but I am so livid especially at this moron with a Messiah complex who thinks he can lecture me without knowing anything.

Every night I tell my child that the monster loves her. I know it to be a lie. But, she is only six and deserves to be loved. I can’t tell her how he is. She knows hitting is bad and she knows no matter who does it, we don’t tolerate it. That is enough.

Child custody and visitation rights to an abusive a******

Should an abusive, alcoholic, drug addict and prostitute goer ever be allowed near any child ever? He is negligent with the child and totally spaced out half the time and drunk the other when he is in her company. Can such a person be a responsible person let alone a father? Is a child going to be safe around him?

Would you leave your daughter with such a monster?

I hope to see the day when child custody and visitation laws for people who commit domestic violence are evolved enough to see that interaction with such a person is detrimental to the child. And how about the mother who is forced to relive everything and live in constant fear of the safety of her child with such an abusive person?

People like that who destroy their own life and destroy their family should be told by the court to take themselves off. And never ever come anywhere near the family they treated so cruelly.

Trying to justify cheating

Today is Valentine’s day and this monster sends me a link to this video that talks about why men cheat. Seriously, he wants to justify going to prostitutes and buying drugs from them? Like who the hell is depraved enough to do that to someone who they have been with for 13 years? That monster that’s who.

Normal people would feel guilt or remorse for their actions or at least pretend that they are sorry. He thinks that just because he is a silicon valley entrepreneur, he is justified in behaving like this. He is founded a start-up in silicon valley and that makes him so special that he can abuse his wife and daughter. People who are drunk with power and money do all kinds of things but this really is the limit.

How on earth do such people justify their behavior? How was I gullible enough to live with him and believe his lies? Why didn’t I stop him sooner? My fear of being separated from my child was so great that I was paralyzed. I was too scared to tell anyone for fear that they would call social services to take my child away. Whenever, I thought of leaving him, I was scared of him throwing me out and keeping my child.

The threats to take my child away were the worst of what he did to me. Yes worse than all the other abuse put together. I should have seen her distress.

I should have known better when the incident with her fracture occurred. I mean no father in his right mind would accuse his wife of “wasting 3 hours on a weekend” to go to the doctor to get their child’s thumb checked. This is the man who is supposed to care about her welfare and he is hell-bent on doing what he does without a care about what he is exposing his child to.

And this is the monster who is now justifying his actions. If I wouldn’t have read about the cycle of abuse I would have been even more shocked to hear him blame me. He has blamed me for everything that went wrong in his life I am not shocked anymore. Finally, I am outraged and wished there were laws that provided for punishing such monsters by putting them behind bars so nobody ever has the guts to do this ever again.

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Why domestic violence victims don’t leave…

I found this video about a woman about who talks about ‘crazy love’. I have shared it here but I couldn’t watch beyond a little more than half of it. I reminded me of a time many years ago when my husband choked me by squeezing my neck. After he did it the second time, I told him off so badly that he vowed never to do it again. As far as the choking goes, he never repeated it. But, recently he told me that he gets so mad at me sometimes and because he can’t choke me or anything, I don’t realize what a tight leash he keeps on his anger. That explains his emotional abuse completely, Physically though he has pushed my hand so badly that I couldn’t prevent him from hurting my daughter. I wish I had realized sooner that she was a soft target for him.

She had started feeling guilty for doing so badly that her papa needed to hurt her. Imagine a six year needing to justify her father’s barbaric behavior.

I am glad to be out of the day to day cycle of abuse. Right now it is the period of calm. My husband has stopped the violent screaming and the blaming and is apologetic. But, I now recognize the pattern and know that the only true way to protect my daughter is to make sure that it is legal and binding.

Yesterday my baby cried

Oh God. No one should have to go through this pain. No one should have a baby if they are about to ruin everything. That monster doesn’t deserve to be called human.

My baby cried because she missed her toys and books and yes even her Christmas tree. I wish he would at least give us her things. Who knows what he might do. As of now whenever I tell him to get it ,he says ‘send me a email’…wonder what that means. I just said, “please send all of her toys, books and clothes that you can spare” on the phone. What more is to be said in an email?

What kind of person asks for an email list of things that belongs to a six year old? Books are in the book shelf. Toys are in the play room. Just give it up. What are you going to do with it?